A Plethora of Pleasures at Hog Heaven
With my work, I drive thousands of miles a year and am not often anxious to hit the interstate when I’m not on the job. However, the minute I learned of the delights awaiting me at the infamous Theme Park, I knew that my customers in Northern California MUST be dying to see me. If I just happened to take a trip that direction, I just might be able to take a little time off to find a few letterboxes... Yeah, right!
While resting up from my last big road trip, I made a special little logbook for this ever-so-special collection that I just might be seeking one day soon. Porcine Pink fabric emblazoned with little pigtails and a bookmark embellished with a pewter piggy and a pearl pendant were just the thing. I watched the weather reports for Red Bluff, CA daily. Once I saw that the weather gods were expected to breath a little less hot air the coming week, I decided the time was right. The astrological signs must’ve aligned perfectly because it just happened that Doublesaj and Old Blue were able (and willing) to rendezvous with me at an auspicious hour on a lucky day when the high temperatures were expected to top out at a cool 95 degrees.
On a hot, breezy August evening we hit the Plateau. The temperature wasn’t a jot over 94, downright balmy for this spot! Doublesaj and Old Blue had already made this trek a month earlier and found all the boxes. On this day, they were there to do some first aid on Poison Ivy’s World’s Most Impractical Letterbox as well as serve as moral (and musical) support for moi. Yes, PI, I was serenaded by Doublesaj’s dulcet tones performing the tune from My Fair Lady while opening your box. I loved having them along as this was definitely an experience to be shared, albeit somewhat humbling to have so much attention directed at me with these wonderful letterboxes. The moment I opened each and every one of them, with their outstanding stamps and logbooks, not to mention the sentiments they expressed, was a special occasion for me. There were lots of laughs, lots of ooooohs and even a couple of tears ... The overwhelming thought was, “Huh? Why me?” Whatever I did, it must’ve been really good to have perpetrated this wonderful mischief... and the best part is that it is continuing on, with folks adding to the bounty as they visit Hog Heaven.
As the Golden Hour began to descend, my compatriots decided to peel off and head for AC and a nice dinner. I, of course, decided to find just a couple more of these treasures before I called it a day. It was back to the acres and acres of prickly weeds and hot lava rocks for me! As the sun almost touched the horizon, I dragged my sweaty, dusty, stickery self back to my little car. I opened it up, threw all my stuff in back, thought about how much fun it would be to return the next morning for the last seven boxes and slammed the trunk shut... OH NO! my keys were no longer in my hand, they weren’t in my pocket and where the Hell could they be? Sigh... you guessed it. Even my cell phone was in that damned trunk. All I had with me was a big floppy sun hat, a half full water bottle and there wasn’t a settlement of any kind for miles and miles.
The only thing to do was to rely on the kindness of strangers. I headed out to the road. WooHoo! A big ol’ RV with a nice elderly couple inside was headed toward me. They looked safe. I waved my arms. They would surely stop. Hah! wrong. Luckily for me, a man in a pickup truck heading in the opposite direction had seen me and took pity on a lonely Hog. He pulled over, turned around and came back. As I opened the passenger door to his truck, he flashed a badge and told me he was a Peace Officer. It seems that I had managed to summon the kindest of strangers. He was headed home to Susanville, 115 miles away but stopped to help me. It turns out that he could also claim it on his time card, but that’s besides the point. I called AAA on his cell phone. In the first five minutes of this call, I learned that there was no locksmith contracted to AAA within 35 miles so I would probably have to be towed into town. Fine... and then I was put on hold and proceeded to wait, and wait, and wait. Ted and I chatted and at one point he asked me,”Did you see any Hogs up on the Plateau?” After twenty five minutes on hold, the cell signal faded away to nothing.
At this point Ted, the Peace Officer, was probably not feeling particularly peaceful and decided he’d really like to get on the road. I piled into the pickup and he took me to a motel in town, ten miles in the wrong direction for him. I do hope there was a warm dinner waiting for him when he finally got home. Next, I learned that a tow truck had been dispatched to rescue the HogMobile on the Plateau. Oh, great! Here I was ten miles away with no way to get back there. It took some wrangling but I managed to have the driver stop by my abode to fetch me. He told me that I needn’t go get the car with him if I didn’t want to but I wasn’t about to miss out on a ride in his HUGE, loud, bumble bee yellow mega-truck. This was not your usual straightforward tow. The guy first opened the driver door with his locksmith tools so he could open the hood, then had to disable the alarm that was screaming at us, then had to disconnect the transmission linkage since the car has front wheel drive, tow it out by the rear end far enough to be able to get the truck around to the front. THEN, he was ready to hook it up in the usual way. Luckily, this nice fellow had way more mechanical skills than he had teeth.
The next morning, I learned that my car was, “One year too old.” The guy who makes the keys at the GM dealership in Red Bluff was unable to get my key code from the factory and couldn’t make a key for me. This was definitely cutting into my letterboxing time! I needed to get back to that Plateau for those final boxes and here GM was thwarting my plans. I think the magic of Hog Heaven prevailed at this point because there was a locksmith in town who paid a visit to my little red HogMobile moments after I called him. He managed to pick the lock to my glove box and being “one year too old” suddenly paid off. Apparently, newer cars require that the key be in the ignition in order for the electronic trunk release to work. My aged rig wasn’t so picky. Once that glove box was opened, I was home free. I popped the trunk, grabbed those keys, paid the fellow and was outa Dodge.
The rest of the morning was spent rock hopping, getting up close and personal with star thistle and finding the final letterboxes in this splendid collection. I kept imagining Don with a wheelbarrow filled with rocks and letterboxes bumping over the plateau, seeking out hiding places for all these treasures. Every single one had a shady spot nearby for stamping in. That alone was a major task. Thank you everyone who has created a letterbox for this prank. You cannot imaging how much it means to me. Thank you Don and Gwen for creating something very, very special, something that has brought me great joy and will do the same for many other letterboxers for years to come. Now, everybody get your behinds to Hog Heaven and don’t lock your keys in the trunk!
While resting up from my last big road trip, I made a special little logbook for this ever-so-special collection that I just might be seeking one day soon. Porcine Pink fabric emblazoned with little pigtails and a bookmark embellished with a pewter piggy and a pearl pendant were just the thing. I watched the weather reports for Red Bluff, CA daily. Once I saw that the weather gods were expected to breath a little less hot air the coming week, I decided the time was right. The astrological signs must’ve aligned perfectly because it just happened that Doublesaj and Old Blue were able (and willing) to rendezvous with me at an auspicious hour on a lucky day when the high temperatures were expected to top out at a cool 95 degrees.
On a hot, breezy August evening we hit the Plateau. The temperature wasn’t a jot over 94, downright balmy for this spot! Doublesaj and Old Blue had already made this trek a month earlier and found all the boxes. On this day, they were there to do some first aid on Poison Ivy’s World’s Most Impractical Letterbox as well as serve as moral (and musical) support for moi. Yes, PI, I was serenaded by Doublesaj’s dulcet tones performing the tune from My Fair Lady while opening your box. I loved having them along as this was definitely an experience to be shared, albeit somewhat humbling to have so much attention directed at me with these wonderful letterboxes. The moment I opened each and every one of them, with their outstanding stamps and logbooks, not to mention the sentiments they expressed, was a special occasion for me. There were lots of laughs, lots of ooooohs and even a couple of tears ... The overwhelming thought was, “Huh? Why me?” Whatever I did, it must’ve been really good to have perpetrated this wonderful mischief... and the best part is that it is continuing on, with folks adding to the bounty as they visit Hog Heaven.
As the Golden Hour began to descend, my compatriots decided to peel off and head for AC and a nice dinner. I, of course, decided to find just a couple more of these treasures before I called it a day. It was back to the acres and acres of prickly weeds and hot lava rocks for me! As the sun almost touched the horizon, I dragged my sweaty, dusty, stickery self back to my little car. I opened it up, threw all my stuff in back, thought about how much fun it would be to return the next morning for the last seven boxes and slammed the trunk shut... OH NO! my keys were no longer in my hand, they weren’t in my pocket and where the Hell could they be? Sigh... you guessed it. Even my cell phone was in that damned trunk. All I had with me was a big floppy sun hat, a half full water bottle and there wasn’t a settlement of any kind for miles and miles.
The only thing to do was to rely on the kindness of strangers. I headed out to the road. WooHoo! A big ol’ RV with a nice elderly couple inside was headed toward me. They looked safe. I waved my arms. They would surely stop. Hah! wrong. Luckily for me, a man in a pickup truck heading in the opposite direction had seen me and took pity on a lonely Hog. He pulled over, turned around and came back. As I opened the passenger door to his truck, he flashed a badge and told me he was a Peace Officer. It seems that I had managed to summon the kindest of strangers. He was headed home to Susanville, 115 miles away but stopped to help me. It turns out that he could also claim it on his time card, but that’s besides the point. I called AAA on his cell phone. In the first five minutes of this call, I learned that there was no locksmith contracted to AAA within 35 miles so I would probably have to be towed into town. Fine... and then I was put on hold and proceeded to wait, and wait, and wait. Ted and I chatted and at one point he asked me,”Did you see any Hogs up on the Plateau?” After twenty five minutes on hold, the cell signal faded away to nothing.
At this point Ted, the Peace Officer, was probably not feeling particularly peaceful and decided he’d really like to get on the road. I piled into the pickup and he took me to a motel in town, ten miles in the wrong direction for him. I do hope there was a warm dinner waiting for him when he finally got home. Next, I learned that a tow truck had been dispatched to rescue the HogMobile on the Plateau. Oh, great! Here I was ten miles away with no way to get back there. It took some wrangling but I managed to have the driver stop by my abode to fetch me. He told me that I needn’t go get the car with him if I didn’t want to but I wasn’t about to miss out on a ride in his HUGE, loud, bumble bee yellow mega-truck. This was not your usual straightforward tow. The guy first opened the driver door with his locksmith tools so he could open the hood, then had to disable the alarm that was screaming at us, then had to disconnect the transmission linkage since the car has front wheel drive, tow it out by the rear end far enough to be able to get the truck around to the front. THEN, he was ready to hook it up in the usual way. Luckily, this nice fellow had way more mechanical skills than he had teeth.
The next morning, I learned that my car was, “One year too old.” The guy who makes the keys at the GM dealership in Red Bluff was unable to get my key code from the factory and couldn’t make a key for me. This was definitely cutting into my letterboxing time! I needed to get back to that Plateau for those final boxes and here GM was thwarting my plans. I think the magic of Hog Heaven prevailed at this point because there was a locksmith in town who paid a visit to my little red HogMobile moments after I called him. He managed to pick the lock to my glove box and being “one year too old” suddenly paid off. Apparently, newer cars require that the key be in the ignition in order for the electronic trunk release to work. My aged rig wasn’t so picky. Once that glove box was opened, I was home free. I popped the trunk, grabbed those keys, paid the fellow and was outa Dodge.
The rest of the morning was spent rock hopping, getting up close and personal with star thistle and finding the final letterboxes in this splendid collection. I kept imagining Don with a wheelbarrow filled with rocks and letterboxes bumping over the plateau, seeking out hiding places for all these treasures. Every single one had a shady spot nearby for stamping in. That alone was a major task. Thank you everyone who has created a letterbox for this prank. You cannot imaging how much it means to me. Thank you Don and Gwen for creating something very, very special, something that has brought me great joy and will do the same for many other letterboxers for years to come. Now, everybody get your behinds to Hog Heaven and don’t lock your keys in the trunk!
posted by Funhog @ 12:00 AM
1 Comments:
At 11:10 AM,
James Cradit said…
If you'd been on your Harley, you wouldn't have had that problem!
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